Near Death Experience

So I have this PFC who doesn’t drive. Well he does, but he didn’t here at Ft. Lewis until recently. The way he tells it he only got his current license to get residency in the state he plans to live in once the deployment is over. All well and good I think. But we’re short on drivers so I figure that that he should start driving. I figure I’ll be an evil genius and MAKE him drive, thus improving his confidence level. This was probably not the wisest decision I’ve ever made.

The short 20 minutes it took to get from the barracks area I felt like I lost a good year off my life. He’s more than a little A.D.D. and you can totally see that in the way he drives. I believe I saw the future in that short span of time, as I clutched the handle on the door turning my knuckles white and tried to pump an imaginary break. Heaven help me when my kids have to learn to drive and get learners permits, because if it’s like this, my wife may need to do it.
During this nerve wracking experience it was discovered that he did indeed get his drivers license when he was 16. How I’m not quite sure, but he passed. So theoretically he has 2 years of driving experience. I’d really like to know where that experience went. I’m convinced he then did a brain dump to make room for his ridiculously large vocabulary. He went on to admit that he had couple cars, one of which crashed. No kidding? I am not shocked. The Staff Sergeant in the back seat was quick to point out that cars don’t crash, DRIVERS do. This did not decrease my stress level.

So after experiencing, riding the curb, timid starts from stop signs, rolling stops, physical CONTACT with the curb and tail gating a BUS, I’m driving from this point forward. My Driver’s Ed instructor would be proud.