Near Death Experience

So I have this PFC who doesn’t drive. Well he does, but he didn’t here at Ft. Lewis until recently. The way he tells it he only got his current license to get residency in the state he plans to live in once the deployment is over. All well and good I think. But we’re short on drivers so I figure that that he should start driving. I figure I’ll be an evil genius and MAKE him drive, thus improving his confidence level. This was probably not the wisest decision I’ve ever made.

The short 20 minutes it took to get from the barracks area I felt like I lost a good year off my life. He’s more than a little A.D.D. and you can totally see that in the way he drives. I believe I saw the future in that short span of time, as I clutched the handle on the door turning my knuckles white and tried to pump an imaginary break. Heaven help me when my kids have to learn to drive and get learners permits, because if it’s like this, my wife may need to do it.
During this nerve wracking experience it was discovered that he did indeed get his drivers license when he was 16. How I’m not quite sure, but he passed. So theoretically he has 2 years of driving experience. I’d really like to know where that experience went. I’m convinced he then did a brain dump to make room for his ridiculously large vocabulary. He went on to admit that he had couple cars, one of which crashed. No kidding? I am not shocked. The Staff Sergeant in the back seat was quick to point out that cars don’t crash, DRIVERS do. This did not decrease my stress level.

So after experiencing, riding the curb, timid starts from stop signs, rolling stops, physical CONTACT with the curb and tail gating a BUS, I’m driving from this point forward. My Driver’s Ed instructor would be proud.

Save the SECRET Squirrel

Ok, part of what I do involves SECRET stuff. Not TOP SECRET squirrel stuff, but SECRET stuff none the less. During my first deployment I wasn’t really keyed into all the operations that were going on. Part the reason was because we weren’t doing a lot, and partly because I didn’t realize I NEEDED to be. I figured public affairs lives in the public realm rite? So my SECRET computer pretty much gathered dust and was periodically flipped open to plan the occasional VIP visit.
Now is a completely different story though. Almost everything I do is on SECRET computers and sent over SECRET networks. This becomes an issue when we have to send out press releases because nothing on a SECRET computer can travel to the non SECRET realm. Oh you can transfer data from non-SECRET to SECRET but once it hits that SECRET comp it can’t ever go back again. This leads to some interesting dichotomies. For example, no recordable media is allowed where I work every day. No phones, No lights, No motor cars, not a single luxury. Well ok we have lights, and internet. INTERNET. Open source, no restrictions Internet. But it took FOREVER to get cameras in here, and don’t even think about bringing an IPOD. Actually I take that back. You can bring and IPOD, but you have to label it SECRET and leave it here. Seriously, it’d be a SECRET IPOD. Part of me wants to go buy one just so I can say I had one. Of course, then I’d have to leave it here and it would have to be wiped and cleared by G6 (Computer Ops) and G2 (Intel).

There’s serious concern about SECRET squirrel stuff getting out, and that’s important, but I seem to remember the restrictions being a little well, let’s say easier to understand, and there weren’t as many issues. For example: If it’s media that can’t be wiped, like a disc or (god forbid) paper you have to destroy it. Discs get shredded. SHREDDED. G6 actually has a disc shredder. I think it can chew through BONE. Paper goes into a blue bin for destruction later. Theoretically it gets burned. Don’t mix the unclassified paper with the classified stuff though, BAD things happen. They apparently don’t play well together. That and it makes more work for somebody so we can’t have that.

Once I get back to St. Paul I’ll be doing most of my work via open source internet. But because so much is now done on the SECRET side I’ll have to go to a secure room at least once a day to check email and get instructions, that I will then have to memorize because I won’t be able to take ANY of that material off that machine regardless if it is classified or not. I suppose it’s for the best, the SECRET SQUIRRELS kept there need company.

Anger doesn't last

I recently read a blog I'm following. The blogger mentioned not having any anecdotes about his childhood, which is amusing, since I'm fairly sure he has interesting memories and or learning's, he just hasn't taken the time to analyze them. Personally, I recall very specifically a day where I was extremely angry at a person who shall remain nameless. I remember exactly where I was on my paper route. I remember telling myself that I wanted to make sure I remembered how mad I was at the time. If I had the ability to talk to myself from that time I'd probably be surprised that I can remember that day, some 20 years later. My younger self would likely be disappointed that the anger that he so desperately held on to had faded. I like to think back on that day periodically to remind myself that getting angry is easy, but staying angry is hard, and I believe, not worth it.

Better men then I

I sometimes don't give myself enough credit. I've been told as much, by people I love and trust. That said I always get the feeling there are better men then I to do jobs that I have done and am doing. I often get an overwhelming sense of mediocrity when looking at my own work. I suppose it's not too different from what an artist feels when reviewing past projects. Oddly enough I often find myself excelling in areas I think I should fail and failing in areas I think I should excel. This has led to certain disconnects that I won't get into (musings for another time). Currently I feel good. I enjoy my current job. I'm having fun mentoring junior soldiers. Even my boss is helpful and supportive. And yet I still feel I could be doing more, that I need to be better, that if I was just a little more focused my team would be more successful, accomplished, etc. Not very optimistic I know, but I'm more of a pessimist anyway.